Jokes Santa Banta BiographySource(Google.com.pk)
Uncyclopedia.info. For a good time, visit your mum.
Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Santa Banta. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.
It is believed that there's a bit of Santa Banta in every Sikh. And there's a bit of Sikh in each of you.
Santa Singh and Banta Singh are two fictional characters who have some resemblance with two Sikhs somewhere in the universe.
Santa and Banta have God's divine gift of churning an endless stream of sick jokes surrounding their own life-situations that are so funny and so firmly entrenched in the Indian subconscious that just being reminded of Santa Banta can send Indians cackling with laughter (or tee-heeing with giggliness if Indians being ladies). Show them a picture of Santa Singh and watch them guffaw, lol, lmao, rofl, rotfl, roflmao, pass wind, micturate tiny droplets of urine in their pants, chortle and emit strange noises. Show them a picture of Santa and Banta Singh, together, and watch them double up with belly cramps, gasp for precious air, turn blue from lack of oxygen, jump around and try to escape from you. Now tell them a Santa Banta joke as they try to hobble away and watch them hopelessly break down; cry inconsolably, and see copious, piteous tears roll down their cheeks and all. They say laughter makes one cry. There is no difference between pleasure and pain at the sublimest of sublime levels. Santa Banta is like that. Santa Banta is funnier than funniest.
1 So what do Santa and Banta look like?
2 So what does Santa Singh look like?
3 Kill me. Tell me a Santa Banta joke
3.1 A Santa Banta Joke
3.2 Another Santa Banta Joke
3.3 Santa Banta Conversing
4 Avatars of Santa Banta
5 Controversy surrounding Jaspal Bhatti
6 Who is Crocodile Dundee Daddy?
8 End Notes
So what do Santa and Banta look like?
They look like each other. They are probably twins or mirror images of each other. Since they are fictional, we really don't know what they really look like. However,
since there are two Sikhs somewhere in the universe who resemble Santa and Banta
since Santa and Banta do look alike,
we only need know what Santa Singh looks like. And then we can intuitively guess what Banta Singh looks lik
So what does Santa Singh look like?
Good question. Santa Singh looks like this,
That's a real guy. His name is Ash Singh. He has been chosen to play the role of Santa Singh in an upcoming movie called Santa Banta Unplugged, produced by Jat TV, because of his striking resemblance with this famous impression of Santa Singh by the renowned artist, M. F. Hosey,
Caricature of Santa Singh by M. F. Hosey
Now in possession of Maharani Gayatri Devi - reproduced with kind permission
which, in turn, is based on the image of the man who plays the role of Santa Singh in a upcoming movie, Santa Banta Unplugged.
Kill me. Tell me a Santa Banta joke
Okie dokie. Air you go:
A Santa Banta Joke
Once a train was moving on the railway line. Suddenly the train got down from the railway line and started moving into the fields. The passengers got angry and decided to punish the train driver. When the train stopped, all the passengers came to the driver and asked:"Why did you take the train off the track into the fields." Driver: A man came in front and was standing on the railway line. Passengers: Why did you risk the life of so many passengers in order to save the life of one man.You should have driven the train on that man. Driver: I was going to do this only but the man ran towards the field.
Another Santa Banta Joke
Once Santa Singh entered a cybercafe to check his mails.It was crowded so he had to wait.As he waited he saw a man checking his mails.He stood behind him and watched.The man typed his password and was waiting when Santa Singh cried out"Yes yes I know your password.I can read your mails now. "Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it".Santa singh replied " Five stars." The other guy who was actually Mr.Sardar replied,"itz 56473 sucka".
Santa Banta Conversing
Banta: “My grandfather’s watch fell into a well and when it was found after 30 years, it was still keeping correct time” Santa: What is so great about it? Once my grandfather fell into a well, and after thirty years when he was taken out, he was still alive.” Banta: “How can it be possible? What was he doing in the well for thirty years?” Santa: “He was winding your grandfather’s wrist-watch.”
Avatars of Santa Banta
Photo of Sri Johnny Lever
In the 21st century, there is only one Avatar of Santa Banta: Johnny lever. He runs the Joke Factory, the Mecca for all pilgrims of Santabantaism, centered in Mohali, near Delhi. The Joke Factory mass produces icons of worship like mobile-ringtones & sms-jokes to make Santa Banta funnier than funniest.
Controversy surrounding Jaspal Bhatti
Photo of Jaspal Bhatti
Putative avatar of Santa Banta
Acceptance hasn't yet come around to the idea that perhaps Jaspal Bhatti is also an avatar of Santa Banta in the current century; albeit worshipped a rung below Johnny Lever in the Santa Banta hierarchy. Till such time that the Greek Orthodox Church delivers it's verdict on this issue, Jaspal Bhatti will continue to remain crossed out as an avatar of Santa Banta and should be considered, at best, only an aspirant to that exalted status. Nevertheless, roughly 8.7 % of all Santabantaists still worship Jaspal Bhatti as an avatar.
Who is Crocodile Dundee Daddy?
Crocodile Dundee daddy is a sidekick in Hindi Movies who looks like this,
Crocodile Dundee Daddy with Wives
Close-up of Crocodile Dundee Daddy
and has no relation with Santa Banta. He is not an avatar of Santa Banta and is not even an aspirant. Unlike Santa Banta, he's very real. However, Crocodile Dundee Daddy knows only two things, viz.
(i) I dont trusts da Indianz. Tell themz how much I dont trust da Indianz, and
(ii) AIG-ZAACTLY !!
It's about all the English one needs to know to survive in croc-infested outback Australias, he'd have us believe.
Unlike Santa Banta, Crocodile Dundee Daddy is only sometimes funny. Santa Banta, on the other hand, are always funny. Santa Banta are funnier than funniest.
Santabantaism is a monotheistic religion. Further, that Santa Banta is/are sometimes plurals, sometimes singular, is suggestive of a duality in it's core religo-philosophy. About 90% of India's population is an adherent of this faith. The rest 10% checked the box titled "Not Applicable" in the 2001 Indian Census.
↑ Ash Singh's Blog
↑ Only the Greek Orthodox Church is accepted as an authority funnier than Santa Banta and thus empowered to deliberate on such issues.
Categories: Indian PhilosophersReligion in India
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