Joke Of The Day Biography
Source(Google.com.pk)Engineering Joke of the Day
Proving, once again, that engineers really do have a sense of humor.
No, really.
All jokes (C) listed date, Mark E. Phair
Note: Not so much "of the day" anymore... Now more "when I think of one."
At least two of these jokes have been used in engineering classrooms to help students remember concepts and to lighten the mood. Please feel free to use them in your own classroom, and let me know what you think! (mphair at gmail dot com). Would you like me to write some jokes for your classroom material? Drop me an email and we can arrange something.
About this site.
Joke 10/28/08
I keep trying to find a phone number in Atlanta, but all the websites keep returning "Not Found" errors.
Explanation 10/28/2008
An area code for phone numbers in Atlanta is 404, which is also a response code from webservers that means "not found." Here is a wikipedia article about HTTP 404.
Joke 04/21/08
Hmm. The sophisticated AI I released onto the 'net didn't do quite what I expected. A few hours later, every link had been replaced with one to this code:
while (1)
{
}
you.GiveUp();
you.LetDown();
around.Run() && you.Desert();
you.MakeCry();
goodbye.Say();
lie.Tell() && you.Hurt();
Explanation 04/21/2008
In C-like langauges, while (1) { } does nothing forever, so everything below that will never happen. Everything else is a rendering of Rick Astley's song "Never Gonna Give You Up" ... See the Wikipedia article on Rickrolling for more information on the meme, which involves sending people links claiming to be one thing and actually being a link to the aforementioned music video.
Joke 09/24/07
29A: The apartment number of the beast
Explanation 09/24/07
29A is the hexidecimal (base 16) representation of the decimal number 666.
Joke 04/27/2006
Boole and Zadeh were chatting over dinner one night.
Zadeh: I've got a job for you: track down Mr X. so we can talk to him.
Boole: What is the reason that you want to talk to Mr. X?
Zadeh: I'm not certain.
Boole: Then, logically, it's an inappropriate assignment... We don't know Y!
Explanation 04/27/2006
Boole and Zadeh are famous logicians. An "appropriate" assignment of variables is one in which all of the unknowns are assigned values. Above, they want to know X, but they also want to know "Y", so the assignment is "inappropriate" for the unknowns.
Joke 02/27/2006
ii = True
if (ii):
***Error: Invalid argument (begging the question)
Explanation 02/27/2006
This is more of a philosophical logic joke than engineering... but that's okay, right? Begging the question is a logic falacy (an invalid method of arguing) in which you assume the conclusion is true as part of the premise. Here, we are setting a variable to true and then checking if it is true, yielding a fanciful error message. "Invalid argument" typically means that you've passed an inappropriate parameter to a function.
Joke 11/16/2005
Q: Which tenant of a world religion states that all beings will eventually tend towards normal?
A: The Zen-tral limit theorm!
Explanation 11/16/2005
The Central limit theorm states that, under certain conditions, aggregrate probabilities tend towards a normal distribution.
Joke 05/06/2004
Q: Has the biomedical imaging engineer done anything useful lately?
A: No, he's mostly been working on PET projects.
Explanation 05/06/2004
Positron Emission Tomography (PET) is a biomedical imaging technique.
Joke 02/26/2004
Why wont the following C++ code work?
class Pen
{
Pen& operator+= (const Pen& pen);
Pen& operator-= (const Pen& pen);
Pen operator -- (const Pen& pen);
};
Because it has run out of INKrament!
Explanation 02/26/2004
The incrament operator (++) is equivalent to x = x + 1. If you still don't get it, note the name of the class.
Joke 02/20/2004
Q: How do you ensure that a singing group that never strays far from their lead singer's monotone stays out of a contest?
A: Use a band reject filter!
Explanation 02/20/2004
A band reject filter cuts out a range (band) of frequencies from a signal, so a band that didn't have a wide range of pitches could easily be completely removed from a signal with a band reject filter.
Joke 01/29/2004
Have you heard of Base 2 Ball?
One...
Ten...
Eleven strikes you're out!
Explanation 01/29/2004
Base 2, also called binary, has only two digits: 0 and 1. You count in binary as follows: 0, 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 111, 1000, etc.
Joke 07/12/2003 (Weekend)
Q: If Abraham Lincoln had a pointer, what would it be?
A: The &Gettysbeurg
Explanation 07/12/2003 (Weekend)
In C and other languages, a pointer is a variable that points to another variable. A way to get a pointer to a variable is the "address of" operator, &().
Joke 07/11/2003 (#100!!!)
So, I was walking down by the waterfront the other day when I saw a homeless man sitting by the docks muttering to himself. What interested me about him was that he was wearing an old-time train conductor's uniform. I went up to talk to him, and found that he was quite nice. He complimented me on my choice of clothing for the day, and said that he had been wearing his uniform since he had been a intern-conductor for the local shipping company. He also claimed that he had invented modern integrated circuit engineering practices... the latter led me to believe that he was a little bit insane... although, it did occur to me later that he was a COMPLIMENTARY MENTAL DOCK-SIDE SEMI-CONDUCTOR.
Explanation 07/11/2003 (#100!!!)
Complimentary metal oxide semiconductors (CMOS) tranistors are the basis of modern computer chips.
Joke 07/10/2003
Q: Why didnt the malfunctioning circuit have any friends?
A: His short temper.
Explanation 07/10/2003
A short, or short circuit, is when two wires touch that should not touch and the electrical current goes the wrong way.
Joke 07/09/2003
Q: Which James Bond characer is FIFO?
A: Queue
Explanation 07/09/2003
Q is an inventor character in the James Bond series. FIFO means "first in, first out," or the first thing that goes into the queue is the first thing that comes out of it. The prototypical example of a FIFO is a queue.
Joke 07/08/2003
Q: How do you know when a farmer has gone unstable?
A: When he starts seeing crop encirclements.
Explanation 07/08/2003
The Encirclement Property is a method used to determine the stability of systems.
Joke 07/07/2003
Q: Why did the weightlifter lose the specific strength contest?
A: He was too dense.
Explanation 07/07/2003
Specific strength is defined as strength divided by density.
Joke 07/05/2003
Q: Why did the baby stack get grounded?
A: He PUSHed his POP too far.
Explanation 07/05/2003
A stack is a memory construct that functions like a stack of cards. To add something to the stack, you PUSH the thing onto the stack, and to remove something from the stack you POP it off the stack.
Moving for a few days...
Joke 07/02/2003
Q: Why did the chip forget everything when it got lost in the snow?
A: It must have been the cold boots.
Explanation 07/02/2003
A "Cold boot" is when you reset a chip or a full computer to the state that it is in when it first starts, or when it is still "cold."
Joke 07/01/2003
Q: Which logical function predicts the future?
A: NOR-stradamus.
Explanation 07/01/2003
The NOR function is defined as follows:
Given True/False inputs A and B,
NOR(A,B) =
TRUE if A and B are FALSE
FALSE otherwise.
The NOR function is the opposite of the OR function, hence NOT-OR, NOR.
Joke 06/30/2003
Q: What is it called when all of the railroad tracks stretch the same amount?
A: The iso-train condition.
Explanation 06/30/2003
The Isostrain condition is when everything in a material stretches the same amount under a load. If the load is in the right direction, it is possible that different parts can stretch different amounts.
Joke 06/28/2003 (Weekend)
Programmer 1: So, I've got two processes communicating with one another, but some of the data that is getting transmitted isnt always showing up where it is supposed to be showing up...
Programmer 2: Maybe it's a leaky pipe.
Explanation 06/28/2003 (Weekend)
In some operating systems, "pipes" are used to communicate between different programs, or processes.
Joke 06/27/2003
Q: Where is the best place to wash jewels?
A: In the heat sink!
Explanation 06/27/2003
A Joule is a unit of energy, and a heat sink is something that can absorb large amounts of heat, i.e. energy.
Joke 06/26/2003
Q: What is a Systems engineer's favorite dance?
A: The unit step.
Explanation 06/26/2003
A unit step is a signal that starts at zero, and then "instantaniously" jumps to a higher value and stays there.
I went on vacaction for awhile, here.
Joke 06/18/2003
Q: How do filter designers get to see their favorite musicians up-close?
A: Simple, they use bandpasses.
Explanation 06/18/2003
A bandpass filter removes everything from a signal that isn't within a certain frequency range, or, frequency "band"
Joke 06/17/2003
Ad in personals
Me: Wirey, sensative
You: A little resistive
We'll make a great thermocouple!
Explanation 06/17/2003
A thermocouple is a simple device used to measure temperature electrically.
Joke 06/16/2003
Q: How do you send a message to a DSP engineer?
A: With a spectragram!
Explanation 06/16/2003
A spectragram is a method used by people involved with DSP of visualizing signals in the frequency domain, i.e. looking at its spectrum.
Joke 06/14/2003
Q: What do you call it when a whole bunch of chemical engineers change schools?
A: Mass transfer.
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